One of “those” days by Christine Field

May 16, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Are you having one of “those” days?

The days when you wonder if your labor and sacrifice is worth it?

The days when the grass looks greener just about anywhere else?

The says when you want time to speed up because a more peaceful time lies ahead?  (You think!)

For every day that you wish away, you squander a gift, a blessing a memory.

The days of childhood, so short and sweet, are gone in an instant.

You are left with memories of running through the grass,

Small hands clenched around dandelions.

Don’t miss it.

Filed Under: Mother Courage, Raising Children Tagged With: , , ,

Lingering Lovingly … by Christine Field

November 16, 2010 By Leave a Comment

I learn a lot over the summer and holidays.  As a home schooling mom,my school year is totally focused on teaching and training the children.  During the holidays or summertime, it’s Mommy’s turn to be taught.

On a picture-perfect summer day, our family pace is slowed.  We are not rushing to complete math pages or dashing to yet another activity.  It feels different.  We feel rich – and enriched.  We take our luxurious time.

We have the privilege to linger lovingly – over the smallest bug or the most spectacular fireworks, over the most magnificent Christmas tree or the most humble manger scene.  We take time.

We have the blessing to linger lovingly at the table.  We pray longer and harder and savor our simple meals.  The chatter of children swapping stories and their attacks of infectious giggling ring in our ears long after bedtime night silence.  We take time.

We have the honor to linger lovingly in conversation with our children – to learn their thoughts and concerns and to wonder at the development of their fine minds and the machinations of their incredible imaginations.  We take time.

We have the delight to linger lovingly when we gaze at their beautiful faces – to see their increasing maturity and growing character mirrored in their eyes and expressions.  We take time.

We have the blessing to linger lovingly with our spouses – sitting contentedly in the yard watching the children play against a backdrop of flickering fireflies or an inviting winter fire.  We take time.

Mommy’s lesson over summer and the holidays is to remember to linger lovingly when the pace picks back up – to keep a less harried perspective during the harried school year.

One recent summer I had the privilege to linger lovingly at the bedside of a critically ill sister.  Each heartbeat was a gift, each breath through the machine was a major effort.  As she inhaled, I prayed, “Lord be with her.”  As she exhaled I prayed, “Lord be with us.  The hours I spent sitting vigil at her bedside were times of deep, prayerful contemplation.  With each pulse of her precious life, the Lord was again teaching me to linger lovingly.  Each moment could be the last.  (Indeed, she passed away shortly thereafter.)

More recently, my oldest daughter went in for a routine endoscopy and, while emerging from sedation, began to have grand mal seizures.  They continued at the rate of 25-30 per day for nearly a week.  We remain mired in a diagnostic haze, looking for answers and solutions.

I continue my education as I watch my husband metastatic cancer.  He faces each day with strength and courage, cherishing and lingering at every opportunity.

After these hospital visits, I would go home to my noisy, messy house which was bursting with life, excitement and noise.  With each child’s greeting cry of, “Mommy!

Mommy!” I would linger lovingly to plant a kiss on each forehead, on each healthy, happy hand and whisper my prayer of thanksgiving for the precious privilege of life and loving with all its ups and downs, joys and sorrows.

Dear friend, are there tensions in your relationships?    Are there words unspoken, or words which you wish you could suck back into your mouth?  Take the time to set them right.  Tell your loved ones what they mean to you.

Linger lovingly over the precious gifts the Lord has sent in the form of family and relationships.

Linger lovingly over your blessings and cherish them.  For THIS is the day the Lord has made – not tomorrow, or after the holiday, or when the economy improves.  Rejoice and be glad TODAY.

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Things that are wonderful about small children…. by Christine Field

October 18, 2010 By 2 Comments

I have the privilege of having a part in my first grandchild’s life.  Some days, it’s so exhausting that I am left with the “been there, done that” fatigue in my muscles and bones that forces me to go to bed at 8 PM.  Other days, I am completely captivated by the wonder and potential of a new human being.

On these good days my mind goes to wandering about all the precious memories stored in my brain about raising my own four kids.  It’s been a wild and wonderful ride.  Taking a small part in the journey of new parenting brings me back.

1.  I remember the absolute beauty and clarity of a child’s eyes.  Imagine seeing the world as a child sees it.  Looking through his eyes the world seems fresh and full of excitement.  And mischief.  Recalling the wonder makes the mischief more amusing.

2.  I revel in the feel of soft baby skin once again.  There is no other texture to compare to the pure, unblemished cheek of a child.  I feel deep satisfaction stroking his sleepy cheek, encouraging him to nap.

3.  I enjoy sharing things that are common to me, because they are a source of amazement to him.  Playing with plastic bowls from the lower cabinet is a delight.  We put bowls on our heads and turn them over and play them like drums.  The ordinary is made new in the eyes of a child.  My older children just look and me and say, “You’re goofy, Mom.”

4.  I am grateful again for the joy of movement.  While my knees sometimes ache, his legs move themselves across the house without a thought or a path.  His effortless trek, punctuated with giggles and squeals, challenges Grandma to keep up and delights me with the display of new energy.

5.  My ears remember the sounds of young children.  The attempt to communicate joy and displeasure is completely understandable, if we take the time to learn their ways.  And the greatest symphony in the world cannot compare to a child’s laugh.

What about you, mom?  Are you in the thick of parenting and exhausted by its demands.  Maybe it will ease your burden to know this:  The challenges you face today will fade into memory.

When they have seen enough of the world, their eyes may become more cynical.

The ravages of puberty and hormones will eventually mar that baby-soft skin.

The commonplace will become boring, expecially after the learn about computers and mp3 players.

The movement they are exploring will untimately move them away from you, and believe it or not, you will someday miss having them there to chase around the house.

A child’s squeals may be replaced with arguing, or words you don’t want to hear.

So, for now, for this season, be present for it.  Store all the goodness, beauty and newness away in your Mommy Memory and savor what is, because it seems to change in an instant.

Christine Field, www.MomLifeNavigator.com

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The Speed of Time … by Christine Field

October 13, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Do your days pass quickly, or do they drag?  Funny how it seems like the older children get, the more time speeds up.  If you have ever been stuck in the house in a freezing February with a screaming child, you understand that time can drag.

Yet there comes a time in parenting when it feels like someone hit the fast-forward button.  The days fly by filled with activities and work.  Keeping a consistent, hard-working schedule can seem like running on a fast moving treadmill.  Indeed the days fly by.

It’s October and we all know what is right around the corner – the holidays!  A time of memory making and merriment, it is also a time of great stress for most homeschoolers.  Parties, events and pageants crowd our calendars.  The sheer volume of extra “stuff” to do seems to move the speed of the treadmill up a few notches.

Maybe this year can be different.  How?  Time can be our master if we don’t cultivate making it our servant.  If you want to seemingly slow the speed of time, try this idea.  Your children will find it instructive as well.

Make a seven day chart with twenty-four small squares for each day.  Techy moms can make a spread sheet, or just get a big piece of paper and draw the chart free-hand.

Each hour for one week, make a brief note of how you spent that hour.  We all have the same 168 hours per week.  Assume you spend seven hours daily sleeping, that leaves 119 hours.  Track your sitting-with-the-children-doing-school time precisely.  Be concise in jotting down how much time you spend cooking and cleaning.

What’s left?  We all need down time, but how much discretionary time do we really have?  With most Americans averaging 7 hours per day of screen time, remember that the next time you say, “I don’t have time to ….”  While you may not meet the national average of 7 hours of media per day, keep that statistic in mind as you contemplate the time crunch of the holidays.

Recently I did this exercise for the 3rd time in recent memory.  It is a particularly stressful time in my home – AND the holidays are bearing down.  My chart revealed that I spend at least an hour a day playing a game called BrickBreaker © on my smartphone, more often than not while singing a song in my head like “She’ll be Coming Around the Mountain.”  While I justify this as a stress-buster in the middle of my muddy days, I could cut it down to 15 minutes without feeling deprived.  For now, I am choosing to do this.  Maybe next week I’ll walk for 30 of those minutes.

The speed of time is a choice because it is a perception.  We perceive that our days fly by because we are stressed by the demands of our lives.  When we can take control of that perception, we may feel less stress and find that we have more time for joy.

The use of our time is a choice as well.  When you don’t have time for recreation, fun and making memories, life becomes joy-less.  When you don’t take time for relationships and people, life becomes drab and routine.

You HAVE time for all that needs doing, including the added stress (and joy) of the holidays.  We all have our 168.  How will we use them?

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